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B1Friends & SocialSep 26, 2026

Is this why adult friendships feel so hard?

大人の友情がこんなに難しく感じるのはなぜ？

TED57 videos Open on YouTube

Transcript

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Translation

Why does adult friendship feel so weird?
大人の友情はなぜこんなに気まずいのか？
With everyone's lives and schedules being so busy, I feel like I'm missing something.
みんなの生活も予定も忙しくて、何か欠けている気がする。
So I asked a friendship expert why.
そこで、友情の専門家に理由を聞いてみた。
So there's this model on like why we're struggling with connection.
人とのつながりに苦労する理由について、こういうモデルがあるんだ。
Can be for structural reasons, which means we don't have enough friends.
構造的な理由で、つまり友達が足りないという場合。
Functional reasons, we're not reaching out to our friends to get our needs met.
機能的な理由で、ニーズを満たすために友達に声をかけられていないという場合。
Or quality reasons, we don't have enough quality connections.
あるいは品質の理由で、質の高いつながりが足りないという場合。
And so when I thought about that in my friendship, I realized I had a functional issue.
それで自分の友情について考えたとき、機能的な問題があると気づいた。
I don't always reach out to friends to get my needs met.
ニーズを満たすために、いつも友達に声をかけているわけではない。
And after realizing that, I tried to be more intentional about tackling this functional issue.
それに気づいてから、この機能的な問題に取り組むことを意識的に行うようにした。
Maybe I also have a functional issue, and I just need to initiate more of the conversations I want to have.
自分も機能的な問題があるのかもしれない。やりたい会話を自分から始めるべきなんだ。
Pause.
一時停止。
You've been texting me more.
最近、私にメッセージを送ってくるようになったね。
You've been initiating conversations with me more as of like the past few days.
ここ数日、私から会話を始めるようになったよね。
What did I text you?
何を送ったの？
You were texting me pictures of pudding.
プリンの写真を送ってきてたよ。
Oh, really ugly pictures of pudding.
ああ、本当に見苦しいプリンの写真。
Okay, so maybe it's a no to the pictures of pudding, but maybe yes to friends noticing when I put in the effort to make connections first.
なるほど、プリンの写真はダメかもしれないけど、私が先に繋がりを作ろうと努力していることに気づいてくれる友達は、ありかもしれないね。
Ideas we cover in this episode of Cornerpiece.
このエピソードのコーナーピースで扱うアイデアです。

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